Time Travel

We all have wondered what it would be like to own a time machine…what it would be like to travel into the future…the past… and back and forth at will. And the affect this might have on the future that already is or will be. I have wondered about the “Don’t step off the path as we hunt the dinosaurs,” warning the hunting guide from the Historical Hunting Group has given us, adding “You may change the future.” Can time travel truly ever be accomplished? Well, as of now…yes and no.

Each and every night I step into a time machine; one that has the ability to carry me into the past, the altered present, the future and sometimes to places that have nothing to do with any of the three. And I know my time travel in this machine will have no possible affect on the future…maybe.

With all this in mind, I stepped into the time machine of sleep last night and awoke in this future where I have been left to my own, shall we say, control. Angela, that “genteel” soul who is my wife, is not here in this future. She has taken a trip to visit her parents and sisters in San Diego and left me here  to see if I can fend for myself…to keep control and not “…step off the path.” BUT she did leave instructions not so dissimilar to those given by the guide from Historical Hunting Group that I not step off the path and not forget to feed the cats and take her dogs for numerous walks, insuring that I provide them with plenty of water…fresh water…twice daily. This all has been written on a prescription pad that she will check upon her return to make sure I filled it.

As for me “No hot-n-now pizza from Little Caesars’, no Macs, and no Carl Junior’s…simply put…No fast food!!!”

She left a army’s supply of vegetables and lettuce and fresh cooked turkey, etc. etc. in the fridge with instructions to consume this and not some tasty food that might give even marginal pleasure to my taste buds. “And don’t forget…oatmeal or Cheerios and not eggs for breakfast.”

Should eating not be tasty, fun, enjoyable and dangerous? Should I not worry about those few extra calories that tasted so good going down in a maximum of ten seconds that will require two hours of exercise to eliminate from my body? What fun is it to eat something that will only taste like crunchy air and require that I only let the dogs out the front door and clean up after them to get the exercise necessary to expel the none existent calories that the “food” contained?

Aw the heck with it! I’ll eat what I want and just climb back into the time machine of sleep the night before she comes home and go into the future where I am slim and trim and what I have consumed while she was away is not there anymore. But first I will need to burn the pizza boxes, the Mac wrappers, the Carl’s bags and other incriminating fast food evidence before I travel into the future. Because I know it I have to travel into the past to clean it up after she gets home that I WILL inevitably step off the path, change the future and be fighting the dogs for the cushy bed in the dog house.

All this talk about fast food has made me hungry and it’s only the first day since I used my solo time machine…guess I just go to the kitchen and get something to eat…Cheerios with bananas sounds good…and safe.

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