I have always wondered about the feminine claim that they are multi-taskers and men, on the other hand, are stuck on a narrow gauge track…a track that is only headed in one direction. I heard that this goes all the way back to the prehistoric times…prehistoric meaning back when history was called HERstory…when the man had to keep on track because distraction would mean that he might be dinner for a saber tooth tiger or some equally aggressive, non-discriminative carnivore waiting for some male to get off track and start picking flowers instead of paying attention to business.
I also wonder where they got the idea that we were stuck on a one way track back then when trains were still in the station waiting for Mr. Wheel to conjure up the greatest invention ever …that being fire needed to create steam of course…and to bar-b-que red meat.
Then comes the notion that men are from Mars and women are from that other place. Women were just waiting for Gutenberg to create movable type so that many, many books could be printed to disseminate this interesting theory…it has to be a theory because, for it not to be a theory it has to be proven and then proven again…just like time travel was.
Women think that just because they can drive a car, change the CD, reach back in the rear seat and calm down the baby, put on makeup and tell her man on the phone that he is irreplaceable…thereby soothing his faltering, hair receding, testosterone demising, temple graying libido, for at least the next ten minutes…they are multi-taskers. And don’t get them started on how they can talk, type, take dictation, and run company from a position without a title and at lower pay than her boss, that they can get more done in a day than a man can in a week.
I…a man of course…think that they just have an advanced, unrecognized case of Attention Deficit Disorder…for some you can add hyperactivity into the equation…that is until it comes time for a little cuddling at bed time…by then all that multi-tasking has left them exhausted.
I have come to this intellectual discovery by shopping with my wife. Grocery shopping is the worst. I mean seriously, just walk straight to the beer cooler, the chip and dip isle, with a short detour to the candy stand at the checkout counter and men we are “Outa here!” But my wife will find some reason to tour the garden fresh vegetable section, with side trips to the milk, cheese, bread, fresh fish and chicken…somehow bypassing the red meat…some fresh fruit and cottage cheese for desert and maybe…only maybe…some butter instead of Smart Choice low fat, low taste spread to put on the ‘whole wheat’ bread toast to go along with the oh so tasty, non sugary, cooked until its soupy, oatmeal.
I think that women are not the multi-taskers they think they are, they are just on that single track of keeping us men around as long as them…they are supposed to outlive us by 5 to ten years…so they can have us healthy and around to tell us how superior they are because they are multi-taskers and we are just stuck on a single track and can do only one thing at once.
Guys…I think I may have just proved them wrong! I don’t know where I started, and I took so many side trips I don’t know where I am…and I’m not going to ask directions…so I must have ADHD  too!…and I wrote this article.


One thought on “HERstory

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